Henry takes Joe on a date
by Al Pacinos
Summary: Title says it all.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters are copyright of 2K Games.**

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At **9:50am**, Joe suddenly woke up from sleep, looking at the time, he slowly doze off, resting his head on his comfy pillow, only to be woken up by a phone call,

He murmured some Italian words-you-won't-even-make-up-what-he's-saying-shit . Walking sluggishly towards his phone, picking it up before yelling,

"_What sort of trouble do you wanna be on, wiseguy?_"

"_Hey, Joe. It's Henry._"

"_Henry? HENRY?! Oh man, do you know what time it is?_" Joe yawned.

"_Why wouldn't I know? Besides, you're s'pposed to be awake by 8am – but ya didn't, 'wiseguy'._"

"_Maybe I hit the snooze button more than I should._"

"_So it seems._"

Joe itched his head, trying to think what else he's got to say instead of shutting up, because, Joe _doesn_'t shut up.

"_Stretch._"

"_Huh?_"

"_I said stretch._"

"_Why?_"

"_Do it._"

"_Okay?_" Joe stood still for a few seconds.

"_You done?_"

"_Yeah_"

"_Who ya kiddin'?_"

"_What? Henryyyyy, I diiiiddddd._"

"J_oe, I'm sitting on the sofa on your living room – IN YOUR APARTMENT. Basically sayin', I'm behind ya, and I'm pretendin' to be on the phone, Jesus Christ. For how long did ya stay up last night?_"

"_OH._" Joe gasped, "_WAIT HENRY – I gotta hung up now._" He continued.

"_Sure._" Henry nodded.

Joe hung up and sat beside Henry, giving a sheepish grin, "_That made me look stupid_" Joe cackled.

"_Yeah._" Henry rolled his eyes. Joe woke up solely, and headed for the messy kitchen, "**_WHADDYA WANNA EAT?_**" Joe shouted.

"_Christ, Joe! Low down your voice, I can hear ya perfectly._"

"**_OKAY, HENRY TOMASINO._**"

"_Chrrriiiiiiisssstttttt…_" The older Sicilian grumbled.

Joe came back with a plate of rambled-eggs and steak after 10 minutes, placing them on the table before Henry, "**_I MADE THEM MYSELF._**"

"_No kiddin'._" Henry smirked.

Joe took a plate and nom'd the shit out of the food, glancing at Henry who was busy looking the surroundings, "_Lurk mur hourse?_" Joe asked with his mouth full.

"_Yeah. A bit too bright and – pink._"

"_Is thart arnouring?_"

"_What?_"

"_Arnouring? Doesh it arnouy you?_"

"_No?_" Henry answered confusingly, "_Joe,_" he added, "_Talk to me after you're done eatin' I can't translate [mouth-full-of-food] language._"

"_You can't?_" Joe's eyes widened.

Henry gave the '_Are you fuckin' kiddin me?_' look at Joe.

**Joe cracked up.**

"_So – what are ya plannin' on doin' today?_"

"_Kil—_"

"_—Other thank killin' people._"

"_Uh. Sell dru—_"

"_No._"

"_Umm._"

Henry sighed, "_I can't believe for a kid like you to do that for a living, c'mon I'll take ya out – we can walk together, waste time, I think._"

Joe leaned on close and closer to Henry's ear, whispering, "_Are you **askin**' me out_?"

"_What? Joe, I—_"

"_So, you are! Alright, gimme a minute so I can change._"

"_Joe, we're just gonna walk—_"

"_—fuck!_" Joe chuckled.

"_What's goin' on with you?_"

"_My mind is 80% sex. Now I'll get ready!_"

Joe opened the closet, placing his hand on his chin, thinking what to wear for today, "_HENRY WHAT SHOULD I WEAR TODAY THERE ARE SO MANY CLOTHES SO MANY OPTIONS O LITTLE TIME!_" He yelled.

"_What you always wear._" Henry rolled his eyes. Again.

"_I was just thinkin' the same thing!_"

**HENRY FACEPALMED.**

"_Isn't that the only thing you wear? Most of the time?_"

"_But I like it!_"

"_Sure. Comb your hair, too. Looks like a mess._"

"_Don't worry, bubba. I know, I know._"


	2. Chapter 2

**52 minutes later….**

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Joe came back to the living room and found out that Henry's lighting his 3rd cigarette.

"Hey, Henry—I'm done!" He buttoned his Hawaiian shirt, then glanced at Henry again, who didn't reply back, let alone reacted.

"Henry? What's wrong?"

"I can't believe it…"

"Believe what?"

"…that it took you a while."

"Sorry but my leg was kinda stuck in the toilet or it wouldn't have taken too long!"

Henry stopped smoking and looked at Joe dead in the eye, "How would your leg get stuck in there?"

"Well—I was takin' a shi"

"—but you shit with your ass, right?" He asked, looking surprisingly 'surprised' at Joe, who was, a cheesy smile back at him.

"What?" The older Sicilian asked, furrowing his brows.

"How do you know?" Joe said.

"How do I know what?"

"How do you know I shit with my ass?"

"Joe what the ffu&*%#"  
"YOU WERE PEEKING ON ME?!"

"I'm out."

"WHAT NO WHERE ARE YOU DUMPIN' ME RIGHT NOW IT'S OUR DATE!"

"I'm going to the Church."

"Why?"

"To ask God if he can help ya."

"I WAS ONLY KIDDING OKAY BUT MY LEGS WERE STUCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHINE MY SHOE ON THE TOILET SEAT BUT I ACCIDENTALLY SLIPP—"

Henry pressed his index finger tightly on Joe's lips, "Fine. Don't make shit up next time, 'kay, kid?"

"You needn't worry."

The both head down the stairs, Henry's gait was pleasantly charming, walking deliberately down the rusted, fragile wooden stairs.

Joe walked like an idiot.

As the two got their ass outta the apartment, they were mildly surprised to find Joe's car to be there, a red glimmering car. Henry was surprised as of how Joe knew he'd go out with him today—by preparing a new car, only a few metres away from the apartment,

Joe was surprised to know that Marty actually was right on time to bring this stolen car from a rival family just for this occasion.

"Nice." Henry smiled, "But I thought of takin' you out for a walk."

"OH. Really? I thought I—Okay! We'll go walking. (I'm too lazy to walk around, grow up, man. We all use cars now)" Joe thought.

They walked together down the pavement, Henry listening and smiling to Joe's corny pick-up lines and horrid jokes, then Joe shutting up for 1 minute listening to Henry talking about the business and occasionally—teasing Eddie Scarpa and the BJ's he gets all day.

It was roughly 11:20am and they stopped by a bookstore, Henry gestured for Joe to wait for a few minutes while Henry's inside. Joe stood outside idly—only for the slight drop of rain to hit his nose. He comically gasped and looked up at the bright blue skies to be concealed slowly by dark, heavy clouds.

Slowly but surely, it's going to rain heavily, here's hoping for no tremendous storms, and for Henry & Joe to find umbrellas, as fast as little time they have left.

Joe got inside the bookstore and found Henry on the History section, skimming through a book.

"Hey, what are ya doin' here, Henry? I couldn't wait much longer since it's gonna rain anytime soon." He looked at the book the latter was holding, who was much delved into a page detailing some criminal organization activities. Joe tapped Henry's shoulders, "Yo, sunshine, I can't believe a book was able to effectively catch your attention other than me who was struggling SO hard." Joe left out a sigh of disappointment.

Henry soon snapped out and quickly returned the book before dragging Joe outside, "Let's get outta here."

"Uhm? But it's gonna rain and it ain't gonna be nice."

"It ain't gonna be nice if we don't find an umbrella while we've got the chance."

"But—"

"—You wanna hide in the bookstore for a while until the rain stops?"

Joe gave out a predictable groan.

"I told you we should've drove instead, I mean—my new car is amazing!"

"It ain't gonna be when it rains."

"Oh."

Henry & Joe scurried to find umbrellas but alas, if this was intended to be a date, then what a one, sick joke it turned out to be!

Soft rain drops was hitting their shoulders, Joe clenched his fist tighter and tighter until he couldn't take it anymore. He took out his gun and pointed at a couple who were comfortably giggling under an umbrella.

"GIMME THAT UMBRELLA OR IT'S GONNA BE THE THING THAT KILLED YA!" Joe shouted.

Henry winced, faced Joe and tried to calm him, "It's just an umbrella, Joe—We'll get back to your place, c'mon."

The couple were shocked and couldn't move a muscle, "NOW GIMME THAT UMBRELLA HURRY OR IT'S GONNA KILL YA." The man offered his umbrella slowly to Joe, urging him to calm down.

"Joe!" Henry shouted infuriatingly.

"I AIN'T GONNA LET THIS DATE RUINED BY RAIN, MAN." Joe took the umbrella away from the couple and pulled Henry, "See? That wasn't so bad!" he unfolded the thing and covered the both of them.

Henry sighed while he shook his head, he pulled Joe closer to him to be fully under the umbrella, their shoulders were TOO close to each other as they walked around awkwardly. "Look, let's not make this too discomforting for us," Henry rubbed his chin, leaving mere distance between their shoulders while placing his on the younger Sicilian's shoulder, "You alright now?"

"Yeah!"

"Great, feelin' hungry?"

"Sure do!"

"….I was expecting a "No" since it's only been an hour since you've last had breakfast but nevermind."

"I had?"

"Yeah." Henry then proceeded to imitate Joe by pretending to talk with his mouth full.

"OOOHHH yeaaahhhhhh." Joe giggled, "But I'm a tad-bit hungry."

"Sure."

" 'Sure' technically means 'What kind of a date doesn't have food', right?"

"Maybe."

"And 'maybe' is "Joe's got a point.", right?"

"Yeah."

"And 'Yeah' mea—"

Henry hit Joe's head.

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**NOTE: GUYS! i wrote this chappy MONTHS ago and i ain't inspired to finish the story idk jfc ahahah HOPE YOU LIKE IT!3  
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**Pee-ess. Henry/Joe forever**


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